Most Days, I Fail...Miserably.

I have a confession. I am a failure. I tried this vegan thing as a cleanse back in December of 2010. My goal was to complete this for 10 days. After the first 3, I spent the next day in the bathroom. My colon was cleaner and I felt really awake. Not just, "I'm up for the day" but I was awake. I didn't take a nap for the rest of that week. I only slept when I went to bed for the day. It was more manageable when I was only doing it for 10 days at a time. I could bank my meat and dairy and then eat meat at the 11th day. The first time, it was a fried chicken leg. I felt terrible afterward. It was tasty, but then, the aftertaste was unexplainable. I just didn't want it any more. I believe I cured myself from fried foods. HOORAY. I mean, if I had to do one thing with the food I eat, I wanted to eat healthfully. I no longer wanted to eat fried fats on a regular basis! WIN!!!
I had the same experience as I cleansed the second time. By the third time, I had committed to eating just vegan. But I still fail. I guess that is where I qualify "mostly".
It's the cheese and eggs. I eat cheese nearly every day. This is where I fail, I eat cheese nearly every day. I hate reading labels, and I really don't like having to think about it every time I am confronted with food. I have to read a label.
Things not included on a vegan diet:
Meat
fish and shellfish--fine, I like fish, just not the kind that carries its home with it.
dairy products--I miss cheddar cheese. and sour cream on my burritos.
eggs--most complete protein in one mouthful.
honey---whatever! I still use this on my oatmeal and cream of wheat.
white sugar. (possibly processed with bone char)
most beer---I think drinking makes people smell like urine anyway, so I
just don't understand why people drink in the first place.
Some breads (made with whey, eggs and/or milk)
Marshmallows, gummie candies and frosted mini wheats cereal these are made with GELATIN
(but a lot of junk food, though unhealthy, can qualify as vegan).
Salad dressing. Most are made from milk or have lecithin (unless it's soy lecithin, is made from animal tissues or egg yolk).

Slowly, I have been discouraged, and partially convinced that I may not make my goal. I have to build my muscle because I am worried about muscle loss. That means, I must work out regularly. I hate working out. I think It will make me look gaunt, like a P.O.W. Sure, I'll do that for health, but I don't want to look like some poster-child for the world body-building federation. I think that's gross, and unnatural.

I eat cheese nearly every day. I don't get it. I love cheese, but this is my downfall.
We went to my hubby's aunts house the other day to see his grandmother and I was nearly scoffed at for my dietary choices. "if it's just about being healty, there are better ways to do it than eating vegan."one voice said, and until I quipped back with "I've lost 10 pounds". I was the one sounding foolish. "oh, well then, I guess that's okay".
So, I guess I get discouraged from all the nay-sayers and my own american cheddar cheese addiction.
I try. I really do. But I see something, and I want to eat it, I have to think long and hard as if my life depends on it and weigh the consequences. My husband has noticed that since most junk food is made non-vegan friendly, and that I have cut it out (for the most part), that is when I really started to lose the weight. Now mind you, the whole 10 pounds didn't come off when I quit sweets, but the bulk of it did. Currenly, I rest at 4 pounds shy from where I was when I got pregnant with my first baby. Most days, I am good with that, but some days, I still feel fat.
I must remember that little green guy from that one space-western: "do or do not, there is no try." But trying, and failing in my case, is sometimes much more tasty.